What the Fuck - Crib No 2.

This rantish cribbing is about the fact that these days I don't have anything to crib about. A cynic's worst nightmare is that he does not have anything to be cynical about. That is my state these days. I hate it, being in such a state. And when I refer to a State, being in Maharashtra does not help one bit. The state does not give a fuck. Nobody does these days. About anything. Nobody gives a fuck about anything these days. Remembering the old Chris Rock joke about giving a fuck here. 

A famous Marathi laureate P.L. Deshpande once said, "Parastithi ha Ashroon cha pran vayu asto" translated means: Circumstances are life force of tears. While this phrase has whatsoever nothing to do with me at this juncture, I just thought it was cool and hence quoted it. It does make a connection on a wider basis though. Since I am in such a state as I wished I would not have been, I am ranting about the state I wished I would not have been - as am in today and blaming not just the circumstances, but also, the very state, in a broader sense ofcourse.

Remember the "I cry in the rains to hide my tears" phrase on the internet. Firstly, what the fuck have rains got to do with crying anyway? Secondly, if you are in the tropical part of the world, like India, does that mean you get to cry only 3 months in a year? What do you do for rest of the nine months if you have strong urges to cry? Plan it for the monsoons. Short weekend crying trips? If you are rich enough, you can always visit Cherapunji or the Amazon to cry. But then again, why not cry in the shower? Yes. “I cry in the shower to hide my tears.” “I sing along too.” I sing and cry in the shower to hide my tears. So does Himesh Reshammiya. But he is making money off of it now, is he not? Or worst instead, what if you have to do some emergency crying and the only available place to console was the restroom, pardon the pun; where the only showers available are the hand jets. Would you dare to try and cry in that ghastly piece of plumbing's presence? Would you? 

All this crying in rain stuff is nothing but a justification of what a double wuss a person is. Firstly they cry. Remember, this is India. In India no one cries. We reproduce. That’s the answer to most of the problems. The boss is screwing you. You screw too. All screw. Secondly, you are scared to show you are crying and want to hide your tears. Wo(Man) did invent handkerchief somewhere during the Neanderthal ages. USE IT. Better even. If you have an urge to cry, make love. Or just love. Love the animals, love the trees, love the people. Of course hate the bastards who have brought you in to such situation in the first place though. Apart from them, spread love. Its better than blowing noses when crying and spreading common colds around. 

If that does not help, Think ash-abhi's child calls his/her father, Beera and his mother, Jodha. That has to help. Or Imagine that Himmesh Reshammiya is crying and singing in your bathroom whilst in the shower. If this fails too. You are not human. Since I read somewhere that people have no time and generally stop reading stuff after about 500 words, I shall stop now. More of What the Fucks later. 

I rant in 140 characters on twitter @rantingindian .

Emotion over reality!

Our emotions consume us. They, sadly, create our realities. Our thoughts fuel emotions. emotions fuels actions. Actions speaks louder than words.

Well, these words are about actions.

Somehow, I don't get it. Understand it. psychology of touch and looking people in the eyes. Something I have avoided since a long time for I don't know what reasons. It may be lack of confidence, which, as my doc tells me is an ill founded. Its still boils down to what people perceive of my actions makes my thoughts and alter my emotions and behavior. I need to get of the vicious cycle.

How to? One might ask. Rational Emotional Behavior Therapy is the key to it.

More about it later. 

Fade to Black / Solitude

I grew up on these numbers and never related to them as much as I do these now these days. A positive force engulfs me when Metallica and Sabbath bellow out of the speaker. These songs calm down eerily. A twisted sense of achievement they provide. Of nothing and belonging to nothing. Nothing as opposed to being void. Void has value, nothing does not. Fuck that though.

Listen to the songs before I depress you to your oblivion. Like you would care, or, I would. But whatever, there is always a sickening from of positive force in most of the depressing songs. My inference might sound queer, but its true. Fuck it all is the attitude. Live like king size and annihilate hindrances that bring you down. I still remember me going to exam ALONE after mom hugged me. I remember crying ALONE for the pain that was. I remember laughing ALONE. I am and so are you: ALONE. Not lonely though. We all are alone. connected, networked and ever so loving and sharing, but, alone. Life, each's respective, is like that. Everyone is present but you experience it alone. Strange, eh? Not so. For this alone ness is the key to being happy..."The world is a lonely place, you are on your own". World is lonely, but, we all are alone. I am out of examples right now. But, the day you find your another person telling you look fantastic in the mirror, while you are gazing at it alone...that is the day Life unravels - like the reflection. It does not lie.

Our purposes might be same in life, but we all get different doors to explore. What remains is not thoughts. Not experiences, not emotions not even love. The sad fact remains is that we all are the one. ALONE. We experience it unlike others, we feel unlike others, we love unlike others. The only thing real is our existence, in that phase of time for those moments, when we are alone. BEING.

Fuck it all then I say. Live, see, be, experience, achieve, love, exist, enjoy - for you are alone. And So am I. Rest are all statics. Our being in time is only dynamic (individual's) i.e.

About Depression

Its a great leveler sometimes. A sudden rush of melancholy overwhelms mind when inner angst is manifested sometimes by the nature in physical world. I wonder if nature understands the gloom that surrounds us and shows it back like a reflection.

Heavy winds thus calms me - 'You are not alone'.

My recent trip to Goa and Ratnagiri post the Phayan occurrence got me to thinking the same. Would depression caused by perceptions create destructive whirlpools, within, to forever push our happiness in to unfathomable oblivions?

No I thought. I tried to ponder upon this question for a while and got to a conclusion that nothing fights back as courageously from a disaster as nature itself.

The empty space in between menacing clouds and the battered earth, although dismayed and crestfallen is a function of time. A new revolution sets forth a different day and a different circumstance, in a positive way of course.

Life moves on with child like enthusiasm to face what change offers. Some more change? Indeed.

Depression is thus nothing but a stagnant state of mind, unchanging.

Probably what we all need is that required revolution - a function of time.

Peace is Dead.

Peace some say is but an extension of grotesque war. Symbolic when amongst nations. Statistic when a frustrated soul rests in. Fuck that I say. For life in itself is a war. War of perspectives and war of needs and wants. Basic necessities. War of principles, when stomachs are filled.

I sound like a commie but bourgeoisie culture is rampant amongst the higher echelons of the commie decision makers. As alleged of course. Marx was no exception. He died stateless to fulfill his wife's needs they said, on Wikipedia.

The war always rages on. For the love of our goals and hopes and for our aims. While hope can get someone a Nobel, Love can bring you to war. Every thing is fare, thus.

Like the Zoroastrians who keep the fire going, We all must keep that warring flame inside alive. For that fuels our purpose.

For life. For the love of God, for love and for Life. War ensemble, within (war ensemble is a song by the band slayer though, not my words).

Keep the flame alive. That differentiates us from other animals. Not brains but the that flame. A meek animal knows he can never be alpha, hence he stops trying. He accepts his fate. Should we too?

We do. Sadly, we do. And dive deeper in the oblivions of melancholy to come up with depression and forever suffer in our own loathing pities and sympathies. Not done. War is the answer. Like Bob Marley would have said:

Get up, Stand up. Stand up for your right. By all means and by all strength in your mortal self. War for what is dear to you and war for what is near to you. Life is too short anyways and death is but an extension what must recycle. Becoming methane in the end is not our purpose hence. Fight for those carbon credits in this life or the next.

Now that too much non-coherent thoughts have emanated from my weary cranial space, I shall sleep for Life is beautiful these days. Our lives. Fighting to keep it that way is the choice that Oracle will suggest as well. The architect might have different views.

Tank, could you please unplug me from the matrix. I need to spend some time now with 'Trinity'.

What the Fuck - Crib No 2.

Yes my little Freudian insects. The concept of coming back with a bang is too old. Felt like blasting all my brain numbing thought processes like a Jihadi does. Smoke opiates in all forms (they say it blows their mind - literally thereafter).

The sad fact I am facing these days is I do not have anything to scribble about. Its a cynic's worst nightmare, no, not, getting married - thats everybody's nightmare. It's not being able to be cynical about anything in life. That is mind alteration, I guess.

There was a time when frustrations could easily be transformed in to words. A sort of a vent...Nothing of sorts is happening now and it irks me to no end.

To be contd...

What the Fuck - Crib No 1.

Most of the people have heard this phrase and if you listen to Rajneesh, self proclaimed God alias Osho - He has given how the word Fuck can be used in many grammatical manners.

In an Indian context, decisions of parents are final in most of the thing relating to child - he should go to commerce stream / science / arts etc. etc. Or he should marry this girl / that girl. He should work here. He should live like this etc.

Infact the most famous learner guitar song that is there - Papa Kehtein Hai Bada Naam Karega is technically - Papa kehtein hain BAAP ka naam bada karega. Nothing wrong in it.

But the son is a dimwit and an idiot to be precise that he can not think for his own self. I also feel that individuality in Indian context was never present. We always lived like a herd or a pack. Living together and living off each other. A technically socialist scenario. Ambitions clash and people do as well. But people Die and so do Ambitions. Life moves on not because it has to it does not have a choice. Life moves on because its an equation of time.

Many religions of the world suggest afterlife and heaven and hell and what not. Only one suggests freedom from time cycles. Lord Krishna suggests too. So does Lord Shani. Time is same for the dying man and the woman in labor. Both want to end the pain. One does not want to end it, the other one does.

Not even remotely ironic. Absolute truth. Time. It will always be. One of the most wicked fundamental quantities and a cruel politician who can shift party in an instant. Heck, but what is an instant. Again a function of Time.

Live for the moment. Let the madness unleash. Time is a ticking and 2012 is near. They say the world will end. I say time will usher in to a different Age. An age of Aquarius. Good or Bad? Only time will tell.

Untill then. What the fuck man. Life screws all.